Clinical Team

“Why did you choose this field” is a common question I get and my answer is always the same. I didn’t choose this field, this field chose me. I literally tried everything to get away from counseling, wanting to pave my own way in the world and be different from my family members who were also in the field. I grew up in the world of counseling and medicating people. I wanted to be different, make my own name and it was going to be on my own terms.

So I did what any college girl would do that wanted to have a job with summers off… I went to school to be a teacher. I remember standing in front of a class full of second graders teaching a math lesson. I had two months left until graduation and I couldn’t wait to be done and get my first teaching job. As I was teaching my lesson that day I looked up and saw what seemed like 100 eyeballs staring at me, with nothing but confusion on their tiny faces. At that moment panic set in immediately. Not knowing how to “fix this” I did the only thing I could do and that was to ask for help. Their teacher jumped to action and I knew that in a few minutes most of them would understand. They would be ok and I didn’t ruin them forever (overgeneralization I know, but I was panicking and those were the thoughts running through my head). When I went home and thought about how horrible I was as a teacher I realized something very important. Although I failed miserably at teaching them their math lesson I taught them something else; I taught them that it’s ok to ask for help. I needed help that day and someone was there to help me. I finished my last two months of college, graduated and took a year off to regroup.

In that time I went back to what I knew and where I felt most at home; back to the methadone clinic and back to my own therapy. I had a caseload of clients and I was back in a routine at work. I started to be honest with my therapist, working on my actual issues. I repressed and suppressed a lot of thoughts, memories and emotions over the years and I knew that if I didn’t find a way to work through them I would feel the way I had been… stuck and empty. Eventually, I learned to find acceptance with my past which allowed me to start to dream of an actual future. My next stop was graduate school.

I hated school my entire life, but this time was different. I sat in class and actually listened. Those two years went by fast and I learned that there are so many other ways of helping others and that I didn’t have to have all the answers, all I had to do was listen. Listen to people and their story. Help them develop a new path and walk with them until they reached their goals. Be the safety net when they felt unsteady and back off when they were ready to walk alone.

Asking for help is sometimes the scariest thing, but if you have the right support you can accomplish great things. I look forward to being that support on your journey, even if you aren’t sure which path you are going to take. Life really is a day at a time, and at some times it can be a minute or on hour at a time. I’m willing to put the time in… are you?